Bits and bobs: today’s frivolity.

Everyone has them: those little bits of seeming obviousness that just rattle around in our brains, waiting for the most inopportune moments to leap and make people say “what?”

Here’s some of mine:

If you spend more money than you make, you’re probably broke. (You might want to double-check this one with an accountant; I have an English degree)

A cat, given half an opportunity, will kill you in your sleep. The only thing that stops them is the fact that they haven’t figured out how to open those damned food cans yet. One more reason to be grateful for the opposable thumb.

I’ve heard college football coaches give varying answers to the question “Would you rather lose by a lot or by a little?” If they say “a lot,” it’s usually because they don’t want it to be close; they’d rather just get beat by a superior team. If they say “a little,” it’s because they want their team to be in the game and engaged all the way to the end.
–Fuck that: I want to win.

When caught between a rock and a hard place, pull a James T. Kirk and change the damned rules. You might still lose, but don’t let losing be your only option in the game.

When I’m caught in a sticky situation, I sometimes think: “what would Han Solo do here?”

Religion, on the whole, is truly a soporific of the masses. That doesn’t mean that any particular religion is either wrong or right, by any stretch, but at least a lot of people are willing to concede to a code of conduct that (theoretically) limits their willingness to perform truly heinous acts, and sometimes even encourages beautiful acts.

Whenever I hear a politician speak, I find it fun to figure out how long it took them to plan a speech that includes enough words to kill time but not enough to actually say anything definitive.

As long as I can’t get paid to do what I want for a living, I’d like to have a job that is really boring so that I can spend my time thinking about what I want to be doing for a living without being distracted.

Humor is the best tool we humans have, bar none. Don’t agree? Think it’s the wheel? You’re wrong. How do I know?
–Unicycle.

If you’re ever at a loss for a blog entry, just make some stuff up and shoot it out there. People often read what they want into a blog anyway.

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