**Corrected** An important message for all Star Wars Celebration fans. Please read! – Star Wars Celebration – April 13 – 16, 2017

In light of the apparently atrocious organization and line management currently happening, the organizers of the Star Wars Celebration issued statement concerning the event currently going on in Florida for the 40th Anniversary. It’s written in typical organizer-speak, so I went ahead and translated it for everyone [in BOLD]:


Entrance to the show on Thursday morning was not as fast or as smooth as we wanted it to be and for that we are very sorry. [Wow! That was fucked up! We seriously believed we could fit a hundred-thousand-plus people through ONE set of doors in a timely fashion. Totally jacked that one up.] We always try to strike a balance between safety and convenience and in that spirit we made some changes that we hope will make Friday and the rest of your Star Wars Celebration experience much better. [In hopes of not completely alienating anyone from attending the next SW Celebration in two years, we’re going to knee-jerk a couple of things we can point to as “having done” when fans continue to complain. At which point we’ll just blame “over-enthusiastic fans” for overloading the system.]

We are adding additional entrance points around the building that we believe will ease access to the building and make things smoother for you. [Although why we didn’t do a traffic study before committing to a single set of doors is unknowable] We will continue to use the West Lobby E/F as our main entrance and we are also adding the C Lobby (right in the middle of the building) and the Westwood Lobby behind the building as additional entrance points for fans. That makes three different locations that will allow fans to enter the building instead of one. We are also adding additional will call/ticket pickup stations at each entrance location for those fans that need to pick up their tickets. [Because some veteran con-goer pointed out that it is never wise to have a single point of failure.]

Doors to the main entrance at the West Lobby E/F will open at 5am and the two new additional entrances will open at 6am. [Which won’t really help for the early con-goers, but it looks good when you read it, so…] Upon entering the building all fans will be directed to the Queue Hall for all Galaxy and Celebration stage panel wrist-banding and entrance to the show floor. [Which will put the bottleneck right back where it was in the first place, but now we’ll be allowing 3 times as many people to get there at once, since we added the additional entries!]

The Celebration Sleepover procedures for this evening will stay the same. [Pick a spot. Don’t move. Not our problem] Starting at 8pm the queue hall will open for fans planning on spending the night. [Bring a friend. We aren’t responsible for thefts or assaults, so you need to take care of yourself. And try not to pee.]

We thank you for your patience and we think these changes will help you get into the building faster for the rest of the weekend. [Please don’t sue us! It’s not like we’re Space City Comic Con, or anything. You LOVE Star Wars.]  May the Force be with you! [Obligatory pander to the fan base.]

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